.: Iowahawk
If your parents then threaten to exile you from your aboriginal homeland unless you get a job, try getting hired back at that Subway you worked at in high school. Remember Jason, the guy you used to smoke weed with in the Subway parking after work? He kept working there while you were in college. In fact, now he's District Manager, so, hey, maybe he can put a good word in for you.
And if that doesn't work out? Hey, big deal. So you're being crushed under a mountain of debt by a cold heartless anti-intellectual world that refuses to value your highly-honed cognitive skills and handsome diploma. The answer is obvious: get an even bigger diploma.
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